School of Computer Science
University of Windsor

Mother-in-Law Quotes

Well a friend of mine is fascinated by his Mother-in-law. The poor guy doesn’t has enough courage to say anything in the presence of his wife! These are some of the opinions I have collected over the years.

  • "Mother-in-law: A person who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of her".
  • A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, its my mothers birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric." The husband replied, "How about a chair?!?"
  • I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.
  • I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the hell off my property.
  • The lawyer cabled his client overseas: "Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep. Shall we order burial, embalming or cremation?"  Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order all three."
  • At the funeral, a priest was consoling the bereaved man: "Come, come my good man, tears cannot restore your mother-in-law."
  • Adam was the happiest and the most fortunate man in the world, because he didn't had a mother-in-law.
  • Have you heard about this man who took his  mother-in-law to the zoo and threw her into the crocodile pool.  He is now being sued  by the SPCA for being cruel to the crocodiles.
  • Two neighbors were having a chat when one said, "I took my dog to the vet today because it bit my mother-in-law." The other  asked, " Did you put it to sleep?" "No, of course not," said the first, "I had its teeth sharpened."
  • My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog in the street. "Oh,  that's terrible". "Yes, it was terrible to watch the dog die slowly in  convulsions."   
  • The president of the service club asked his new member, "Would  you like to donate something to the home for the aged?" the new member replied, "Yes, my mother-in-law."
  • Wife: "Dear, this afternoon the big clock fell off the wall. Had it fallen a moment sooner, my  mother would have been hit on the  head and badly hurt. Husband : Ai yah! That clock has always been a bit too slow.
  • A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
  • A man meets a genie.  The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, "OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death."
More to come … if my wife doesn’t see this page!

Shee …. wanna see what MY mother-in-law has done to my father-in-law? Poor guy keeps on dragging his feet all around the city!